


Kris The Incel

by YouLikeShitStuff



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Incel - Freeform, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2020-10-10 17:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouLikeShitStuff/pseuds/YouLikeShitStuff
Summary: For whatever reason, girls just won't give Kris the sex the he is OWED as a male. Witness his misadventures as a member of the incel community!





	1. Chapter 1

Kris was going about his typical incel business, sitting in his room looking at all the upskirts he took of that fat fucking bitch toriel... All whilst using the panties he stole from her fucking stupid bitch room. (This is how Kris would describe this shit. I am not a misogynist, I love women. Love to FUCK them. Heh... gottem). Anyway, he thought he was being super sneaky about all this but toriel was super aware of it and having concerned google searches about it to see if this was normal and what she should do about it. It was much easier to ignore the situation and pretend it wasn't happening...

However, one day she walked in on him watching incest porn and he got pissed off at her for catching him and pushed her out of the room and slammed the door. He was having another one of his little autistic moments and pulled out his replica katana to admire it... "I should just fucking take that bitch out...", Kris thought. Then Kris' computer bleeped with a notification. Alphys from his incel discord server had shot him a DM of a photo of Undyne, a police officer who she always fantasized about stealing her gun from and going on a shitty failed shooting spree of Elliot Rodger-esque proportions. "God, I'd rape her and kill her IRL...", thought Kris. This helped him calm down a bit and he went back to trolling pages on the somethingawful.com forums. He did a really fucking shitty and non-self aware post trying to trick girls into believing he had half life 3 leaks... Nobody bought it...

Dejected and defeated. He started messaging the mentally disabled reindeer Noelle from his class asking for pictures of her spreading her pussy, promising to pass them along to Susie. He never did... He proceeded to jerk his tiny little fucking shriveled up 2 inch weiner into toriels underwear. (Authors note: about to cum...) When he suddenly heard a high pitched scream come from out in the living room. It came from toriel and that only made him cum faster bro... He then exited to see that she had fucking fallen and died of ligma (Authors note: ligma balls. gottem) This was the beginning of Kris' FREEDOM.

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After putting her body in the wardrobe for him to occassionally fuck if he felt like it... Kris set the living room up as his headquarters for all incels in the town. He'd have to start recruiting if he wanted to achieve his goals... Thankfully he already had Alphys on hand. Now why wouldn't Kris just fucking take what he wanted from Alphys, I here you ask. For one, she is fucking uggo... and secondly... he was kind of a twink bitch that got off on being denied sex, really... Anyway, Kris and Alphys set up their computers and stuff in the living room and began plotting. "We'll need more members", said Alphys. "Hmmmm", Kris pondered. Maybe Susie would be a good recruit. She always seemed angry and slightly disabled just like them. This would have to be a line of enquiry... And maybe his dad Asgore... He had been denied sex ever since his bitch of an ex-wife divorced his ass. "Alright, we'll attempt to recruit Susie and my dad into the organisation!", declared Kris. "What should we call our organisation?", queried Alphys. "The Collective Universal Controllers of Kinkiness!", announced Kris. And thus the CUCKs came into existence.


	2. New Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris starts recruiting new members to join the CUCKs.

Kris was growing fucking annoyed with how things were going at CUCKs, and also Alphys kept trying to shove her pussy on him "so neither of them will have to be virgins" um, yuck dude (kinda cringe tbh...). Kris decided that if the incel reign was to occur, he would have to do more than masturbate to instagrams from girls at his school and then feel all smug even though nobody knew about it but him. He would have to enlist in not only susie, but the abilities of the biggest incel in town- (because lets face it, as a woman susie just has less ability to do most things men like kris can.) Asgore would be the most fitting, having dumb retard strength due to his mental disabilities... He'd be found in the abandoned building they let him stay in so he thinks he's running a flower shop (i know, what a fucking senile asshole. we're all just waiting for him to die so we can cash in on the life insurance....) and Berdly, despite being the most insufferable faggot on the planet- Kris had to admit, he had some good viewpoints on women and POCs and their rightful place in the world (a ditch, unless they have a vagina, in which case they should be having sex with him...(oh goood i wish they'd put their cocoa buttholes on my face....)) Kris explained his plan to Alphys who was too busy slapping her feet together watching asian cartoons like an asshole. He decided to go off on his own for now to recruit, which was probably for the better as most people in town kept a 10 foot distance away from alphys at all times.

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So Kris went off into town, trying to get the cold wind to make his boner go down... when he bumped into susie. This only made his delicate member secret beautiful pre cum. (authors notE: did you like how awkward and uncomfortable that description was...?) Susie grinned a big toothy grin at this before suppressing her natural urges as a female and getting all pissed off like she was on her fucking period or some shit. (authors note: she was) "Kris! What the fuck do you want!?", questioned susie. "I want to pwn some normie fag noobs", said Kris, brandishing his katana. "Woah... I didn't realise you were so MLG..." said Susie. "Alright, I'll join your little group, but you gotta get me some food first." Then Kris took out his little fucking cock??? And she fucking ate that. Nah but for real he gave her a chicken burger and a beef burger from the mcdonalds saver menu. Two delicious sandwiches for an even more deliciously low price. How can world hunger even exist anymore...? "Okay, you're KINDA epic", said susie. "But do you contribute to GLOBAL WARMING!?", asked susie, before brandishing a plastic fucking straw. Kris quivered in his little panties. He'd visited alt-right forums talking about bombing the democratic national convention and starting a white ethno-state but this was a bit too much even for him. Susie brought Kris to the lake and handed him a plastic cup. "Go ahead", susie said. Kris shook, his outstretched hand hovering over the lake, with the potential to destroy the world and induce climate change. "Pfft, I knew you couldn't. Pussy", taunted Susie, before Kris dropped it into the lake. "HOLY FUCK I DIDN'T THINK YOU'd ACTUALLY DO IT!". screamed Susie as the lake fucking turned black. Onion-san rose to the surface screaming at the top of her lungs. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOLY FUCK YOU ALT RIGHT NEO NAZI!", screamed onionsan before fucking ragdolling into the water. "WE GOTTA FUCKING CHEESE IT BEFORE THE POLICE GET HERE!", shouted susie.

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Susie and Kris turned up at the CUCKs headquarters. Having poked out the eye of the local police officer. "Guess I gotta stay here on the run... I may as well have your group watch my back." , said Susie. And then she gets fucking added to your party members. (Authors note: I'd fucking add her to my member and have her bounce up and down on it) The CUCKs were now gaining momentum. There was enough sex starved hatred here to overthrow the Vatican. But they still needed more members. "Alright, now we need some more muscle to balance out our mana/fighting ratio", said alphys. "OMFG, shut up you cringer", said Susie, fist bumping Kris as she did so. Maybe her time in the CUCKs wouldn't be so bad after all....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my pal Tim for doing most of the opening. He's quite epic... I like feedback on my disabled ramblings. so feel free to comment or contact me...  
Look forward to chapter 3...


	3. Blue Lives Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris and the gang tackles the hard-hitting political issues of the day.

Jerome was ambling down the street at a brisk pace, the gentle breeze cooling the top of his large, bald head. His stern, defined jaw was matched by his chiseled, Italian nose. Despite these strong features, he was something of a passive giant. Although large, his uncalloused hands denoted a kind, gentle nature, instantly informing any who touched them of his fatherhood. Although an afro-american, Jerome had managed to avoid prejudice for most of his life among the monster community. 

and then undyne turned the corner, pulled out her standard-issue police pistol and fucking brained him with two shots to the skull 

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kris snapped some sweet pics of this scene from the dumpster he liked to dig around in for used tampons andwas about to post them to liveleak when he realised he'd caught undyne planting evidence on this POC after she killed him. maybe this could assist kris in his incel campaign....

he sent the pics to alphys and susie in their discord and they both remarked how sweet it was that this dude had been put in his place. kris realised he could blackmail undyne into doing whatever he wanted with this stuff and shot her a message on facebook. The most secure social media platform in existence. Please store bounties of your data with Facebook.com. now he just had to wait for a response. in the meantime, he decided to head back to the CUCKs HQ.

Kris thought it would be pretty freaking sweet (lois) to have his house to do whatever he wanted but it was actually kind of a fucking pain in the ass. the place was starting to stink of shit ever since the toilet blew up and they all started going in the corner. Toriel's body was crawling with maggots at this point. kris had already worn out the tread on her various holes so it was probably about time to get rid of this thing. "alright retards, pay attention to my cool little idea", announced kris. susie stopped slapping alphys in her dumb fucking head and the two of them sat at attention. "if the incel uprising is to occur, we're gonna need some sweet guns", said kris. " we should get a sick 3d printer and print them off, "suggested alphys. "!where the fuck are we gonna get the money for that you stupid fucking ugly retard dipshit", scolded susie. "i actually happen to know the perfect way to make money. if we combine the money from my nude patreon with the money we make from selling toriels fucking rotten, bug infested corpse, we'll have just enough for a 3D printer", explained kris. "Wjat dipshit would pay for that," queried susie. Then there was a knock at the door. "that must be the buyer now," said kris before opening the door to reveal motherfucking funny fat fucking skelly man fucking mother fucker sans. "im here for le epic corpse", he said (what a funny little man), handing kris at LEAST $6. Kris dragged her fucking decreped bitch ass out and pawned it off to sans. sSans patted her and said his signature line bu t in reverse, "im gonna have a good time...."

"Right that brings us onto part 2. if we download any gun blueprints, we'll be put on watch list and fucking busted, so we're gonna have to get a real gun and make copies from that". kris' phone beeped and vibrating a little against his cock i his pants. it must've been the response from undyne about the pictures he sent her. not the ones of him wiggling his cock at the caamera for a while, those were from before now. anyway she said yeah, you can borrow my gun just dont release those pics you little fucking snitch prick.

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undyne turned up to the CUCKs HQ and was, quite frankly, a VERY rude guest. she was loud and angry and kind of a bitch... "aren't you the pricks that poked my eye out and polluted the lake?", questioned undyne. "roflmao, that WAS us and that WAS fucking epic!", remarked susie. Alphys didnt say anything, she was leaking fucking niagra falls at the mere sight of undyne, but this just kinda pissed alphys off more cuz a normie like undyne would never give alphys sex. She WAS an incel after all. whilst she could;ve blackmailed undyne into sex now, alphys had to think about the big picture, getting those guns was what was important. taking what she was fucking owed could come later. undyne just sorta scratched at her hairy feminisst pussy then threw her gun over to kris and told him to have it back within a week and not to kill any white people with it. Kris nodded politely at this but wasn't sure how to feel about that racist remark, on the one hand POCs were inferior but kris couldn't help biting his little lips whenever he saw a BBC online. "hopefully they give me AIDs", he always found himself thinking whenever he saw one. However, he shook those thoughts from his mind and plugged the gun into the 3D printer and yeah sure enough it fucking spat out a bunch of guns for them. now they just needed to practice. kris convinced susie to send noelle pictures of her spreading her butthole in order to get noelle to cum over to their HQ. susie told her she wanted to do some kinky BDSM and blindfolded noelle like the dumb bitch she is. they then stood noelle against the wall and balanced an apple on her head. kris aimed for the apple as best he could, but being the weak little bitch that he is, the kick from the gun knocked him on his ass and he missed the apple completely. he sat up and saw noelle had a fucking huge hole in her throat and was lying still on the ground. "that's a little sexy..." remarked susie.

Despite some minor setbacks, this was a major step, kris and the gang were on their way to finally achieving their dominance over the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hard hitting political commentary, yeah? 
> 
> please comment your thoughts, opinions, speculations, insults, compliments, whatever you want
> 
> just having fun with this sweet fucking saga of mine....


	4. Cleaning PIPES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang launch their first attack. It doesn't go well.

kris' living room smelt like a fucking sewer at this point. the pile of shit and piss in the corner was 3 feet tall and they couldnt open the windows incase the feds were eavesdropping. noelle's rotting fucking corpse didn't help matters. noboody was paying any of the bills so the elctricity andd heating had gone out a few days ago."this is cringe...", said kris. susie was downing her vitamin supplement whilst alphys was riping the pipes out of the sink. probably to fuck herself with. she'd been using various household objects to do so in the hopes that the others would join in but they all just felt a bit sick... "fuck this... i was hoping we'd have more members at this point but we're just gonna have to move ahead with our first operation of attacking the school. that'll draw incels from across the globe to us and we can probably start a new country or something...", announced kris. "like isis", observed susie. "no not those fucking towelheads, we're gonna be way cooler", clarified kris. "wait, we're going TODAY!?", questioned alphys. "got a problem with that cringer?" snarled susie. Alphys fumbled with something in her bag, "uh no, i guess its good to go", she said. Kris wondered what she was talking about but susie hurried everyone out into the car. it could probably wait until later.

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the gang pulled up in toriels car, having drawn a bunch of attention by messing up the breaks and gears as they got there. undyne saw this all but turned a blind eye, as most fucking pigcops do (authoeres note:oink oink bitch) They all redied their handguns. alphys pulled a small pipe out of t=her bag and attatched it to hers. "a silencer, so we can engage in some tactical espionage action.", she explained. "the only action i want is with the corpses...", hubba hubba'd susie. "fuck this, let's roll", declared kris. they all walked into the school and the halls were pretty empty with the exception of temmie. "let her live, i want that bitch to myself...", stated kris, but alphys had gummy bears in her ears and bew temmies fucking head off antway. temmie stumbled and fell against the fire alarm, setting it off. "ALPHYS YOU LIBTARD! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!", scolded susie. "wuh oh... gues ill hafta use this sooner than i thought...", replied alphys before producing a larger pipe with wires sticking out of it. "I googled "how to make a pipe bomb"", she explained. "ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!? YOU@RE GONNA GET US ALL KILLED!!!!!!", screamed kris. "no way... dont worry, it's perfectly fine said alphys, heading towards the classroom before tripping and setting off the pipebomb. 

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kris and susie coughed on the dust from the explosion and looked up as it cleared to see the entire next classroom of people was almost completely uninjured, with the exceotion of berdly, wjo had both his legs blown off. "good thing i dont need legs to trolololol...", he remarked before cough up a bit of blood. alphys' head had completely collapsed in on itse;f and became a bloody pulp, whilst both her arms were hanging out of holes in the roof "THIS THING@S GONE TO SHIT< WE GOTTA CHEESE IT BEFORE THE FEDS GET HERE!!!!!, screamed susie before dragging kris to the door in the back, both of them still obscured by the smoke. it was pitch fucking black in that door, kris reached for a light but accidentally flicked susie's bulbous overgrown clitoris... (autfhors note:: honest mistake, king) when the light did come on.... they were not in a classroom... but a fucking moist dark cave... before thems tood a dark young man in green clothing... "must be a c(ringe)osplayer..." said kris. thinking back on how angry he got at the lewd cospayer e-girls that wouldnt give him attention... the figure turned around andd spoke their name... "I... am rAlSSei..."

CLIFF HANGER


	5. RENT Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ralsei makes a fine replacement for alphys, and might just even help finance the group...

this chapter was brought to you by audible. get your free copy of this freaking sweet fanfic there now by using the code boypussy at checkout

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kris began leaking precum at the site of this beautiful femboy, ralsei... after the explosion at the school kris and susei were invited to a magical world of darkners that kris flatly rejected. he had long held a negative view of darkners and their rightful place in this world. he had made several angry rants about them on funnyracistforums.org, and he knew his girly looks would get him raped and killed irl in a darkner country. so instead, he bonked ralsei over the head and threw him in his simpsons pillow case and ran for it with susie back to the base. amazingly, they were not wanted by the fuzz, since alphys had killed the only witness (save undyne, who they had fucking incriminating dirt on) and the bombing a school incident was pinned entirely on alphys. however, now they needed a replacement member. ralsei was a perfect fit (authoeres notee; just like how my cock was a pefrfect fit for his ass lmaooooooo) but he would need to be convinced, so kriss started swinging a pocket watch back and forth infront of ralsei, "ohhhhhhh, you are becoming a sissy incel, ohhhhhh", said kris. ralsei was immune to this however, as he aspergers, and we all know disableds are immune to hypnosis, so susie simply persuaded ralsei by flashing her putrid, unshaven, discharge-encrusted pussy. (authoer not; i think im gonna be fucking sick...)

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now that ralsei had been initiated by being tied to a chair and made to watch 10 hours of doug walker videos, the group were finally able to take a breath and assess the situation. "okay, we cringely fucked up our plan, but i think it was mostly alphys' fault," said ssusie. they wouldnt be able to attack the school so soon after their first attempt. they had dropped their guns in the school, so it would take a while to print more off. the house was in a fucking delapidated state at this point. there were piles of shit and piss in every corner, noelles corpse was covered head to toe in maggots and flies, and theyd recieved several demands for "mortgages payments" addressed to toriel. theyd be kicked out and discovered if they couldnt make some fucking bank. kris' twitch account where he streamed 17 hours a day was bringing in almost one dollar. that was a start, at least. "im gonna have to start doing ad reads, arent i...", kris dismayed, frustrated at this hinderance of his creative freedom. "or we could sell my nudes", suggested susie, before she dismissed the idea. "nah, who would find some strange fucking reptile creature attractive enough to fuck?", she realised. (authors note: you fucking know who you are, creeps) then a lightning bolt idea hit kris. "let's sell RALSEI's nudes! gay furries are the big trend in this crazy day and age. gay furries financing militant incel crusades? why, it just makes sense, doesnt it???" he pressed. "i shall keep my consent to this situation ambiguous", stated ralsei, before spreading for the camera. "that just adds to the appeal..." susie stated, licking her fucking greasy little lips.

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23 minutes later, kris had jerked off 37 times and their onlyfans account for ralsei had made $1,000,000 tax free. they'd been able to increase their revenue by advertising free to play mobile game of the century raid:shadow legends. now available on the play store with 50,000 free gold and an EPIC champion. download today, rated 5 stars. anyway yeah, uhhhh, where was i. oh right so they were able to stave off their mortgage woes and invest in a big bag to scoop all the piles of shit into. they decided to keep noelle there since she really just tied the room together, unlike her eyes, which were no longer tied to her brain and had fallen out of their sockets... "now can we RP and play DnD?", queried ralsei "ralsei if you dont stfu, im gonna call you the n word", warned kris. "wtf...?", said ralsei. kris then said this fabled word, not realising he was still streaming, thereby getting himself cancelled and permanently banished from the internet. they had now lost their source of income but at least had the house locked down and were no longer wallowing in feces... susie then stared directly into the camera, trying not to lol as she read an ad for condoms... "and dont forget to follow https://twitter.com/LeBallBrothers ", said kris, citing their comedic genius and simplistic art style as his main reasons for suggesting this. "until next time, my n-words", whispered ralsei...


	6. The Finale?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris' adventures as an incel come to their dramatic conclusion!

whilst Kris had gathered some cool little followers, he had very little to show for it. the only thing he was showing was his balls, as they were slipping out of his shorts but nobody had the courage to tell him. ralsei had already become an e-boy and was considering alternate career paths. kris risked losing a vital member. he would have to unleash his final play ASAP (ASS SEMEN ALWAYS PENETRATES (jk) ) "alright, we're gonna blow this fucking place to kingdom come with all the shitty girls that wont fuck me!", shouted kris. "ill creampie your cock...", confessed susie... this couldve worked, but kris didnt consider susie a girl on account of the fact that she was a deformed reptile looooool. "NO! we're gonna go to that mysterious and intriguing sealed bunker south of town. i suspect we can end teh world from there", informed kris. ralsei finished taking pics for his onlyfans but didnt have time to change out of his sissy maid outfit so off he went in that, with his 3D printed glock tucked in his g-string. susie had a cool sawn off shotgun on her back. this tough guy act was all to disguise the fish person OCs she drew and dressed up as on videos online... Kris had lost his gun so he'd have to make due with his little bart simpson slingshot.

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the three of them left the house. the place was so delapidated at this point that as soon as they slammed the door leaving, it fucking crumbled like my legos after my cousin took it and broke it (cunt). the car was also toast from their shitty driving earlier. so theyd have to walk to the bunker but it should be fine so long as they dont draw attention to themselves. "HEY!", shouted undyne from across the road. ralsei then panicked and shot undyne in the leg. "I just was coming to get my gun back....", informed undyne. "oops", said ralsei... ralsei wasnt really sure how to handle this situation, so he just shot undyne in the head seventeen times. they now had a 3 star rating, so police choppers would be after them. they had to run towards the bunker on foot. unfortunately ralsei got shot and downed like in pay day 2. he then got handcuffed to a tree by the cops to make sure he couldnt get away. unfortunately they didnt realise this was a lumber mill and ralsei got sawed in half. thankfully his legs were still okay so one of the cops photographed them from the waist down to start his OWN onlyfans with this material.

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susie and kris continued to sprint past the police, engaged in an epic shoot out. they were getting close to the bunker when susie got hit in the leg by the cops. the two of them hid behind a tree. "i-i dont think i can go on. at least let me fuck you so we dont die virgins...", said susie... kris blushed and shot a load in his pants at this.... but then when she went in to kiss kris, susie quickly leaned down and bit off the head of his cock. "lmaolololrofl, im actually an undercover jewish agent. ive been plotting to circumcise you this ENTIRE time!", declared susie. "so you engaged in actual acts of terror just so you could mess up my circumcision and take too much off?", queeried kris. "it sounds downright silly now that i realise it.... oh, the errors of my wayyyyyyys....", trailed off susie. she then also got arrested and sentenced to like, fuck i dunno. 4 years in prison for murder and terrorism. they were operating under a scandanavian law system, you see.

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kris managed to make it to the bunker on his own. he started as a lonely incel, and it seems he would end as a lonely incel. he had suffered a fleshwound to his arm but it served only to make him quite litterally horny... he entered teh creepy bunker. there was nobody inside.... except some mysterious control panels and gaster... wait gaster!?!!? "yes, its me, gaster. the original soyboy", explained gaster. "ive been here waiting for a true incel leader to come and liberate me in the almighty rebellion. now the time has come", said gaster excitedly. "ermmmm, the rebellion sucked. there was only three of us and i think the other two are dead", said kris. "wtffff this sucks", said gaster. "I guess we should just get gfs", gaster resigned. "wait, we can get gfs that easily???", asked kris. "yeah, it just wasnt my firs tchoice", said gaaster. gaster then opened a vat with two cute pink haired anime babes. one for each of him and kris. "uh-uhhh, do you wanna get coffee somtime???" asked kris. ""sure" his catgirl gf replied. FUCK YESSSS SAID KRIS. he also killed gaster and took his gf as like a butt slave or something. i dunno. kris got two cute gfs and married them in a beautiful mormon ceremony then went ont to have 30 kids. ralsei existed on the internet through several onlyfans accounts. susie served her four year sentence and went on to be a rabbi for an ultraorthodox synagogue in israel. alphys had a decent turn out at her funeral. and kris finally lost his consensual virginity and calmed down a little.

THE END?????

**Author's Note:**

> First time making a fanfic in a while. I think I still got it... Also, I really appreciate comments on my glorious writings...
> 
> If this disabled style of humour is your thing, consider following @LeBallBrothers on twitter.  
It's a shittily drawn comic I make with my friend.


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